A few months ago, I was lying on the couch at home alone. A friend texted to check on me and asked, “How are you doing”? I had no strength to text her back. I just lifted the cell phone and took this photo of myself and hit send.
I was tired and could barely breathe. I had been out three days prior with procedures at the hospital in town. Two of the procedures were biopsies in which we got results right away. The results left the doctors scratching their heads! They knew something was wrong but all they could see was inflammation! On this day I felt like I was nearing the end of my life. I didn’t know how much longer I could go on struggling to breathe like I was. I thought about my family and then I thought about my grandchildren to be and I tearfully lifted up a prayer, “Lord, I really hoped to one day see my grandchildren”.
The next day we had plans to go out to lunch as a family. Derek wanted to take me to someplace where I could sit outside and get fresh air. He chose my favorite place in Waikiki, the Royal Hawaiian because he knows that Diamond Head is my favorite landmark in the world. At the Azure restaurant you can sit outside and eat and enjoy a Diamond Head view.
I didn’t feel great that day. I had to walk really slow and my breathing was labored most of the time we were there. It was still a beautiful day and I felt blessed to be off the couch and out of the house. The thing that makes me feel the best is just being with my family. We always have such a great time together and its a good distraction to how I was feeling.
As we sat together, Kalani and Joyce surprised us all with a wonderful announcement. They shared that they were going to have a baby. As soon as they showed us the ultra sound picture, the tears began to flow.
What a precious gift, I could see my first grandchild. I was so touched watching Jess tear up as she realized she was going to be an Aunty and Uncle Brett looked so happy too..
Oh what a happy time this is for our growing family. Derek and I are so excited to be Grandparents.
After lunch, when I got home, I immediately thought of my prayer about hoping to “see” my grandchild. I said, “Lord, can I please rephrase my earlier prayer, I would love it if I could be there to not just see my grandchild but to hold him or her and watch them grow and maybe graduate high school, too”. LOL.
I don't know God’s plan for me. But I know he knows the desire of my heart. I also know that during my most challenging days, I think of this little bundle of joy and it makes me fight harder.
When I think of God’s perfect timing, I”m amazed at the miracle timing of this summer. I got really sick in April. In May and June we knew it was a mass in my lungs and I was having all kinds of crazy symptoms but after several biopsies and hundreds of tests, nothing was diagnosed. People were praying hard and in July, I was healthy enough to travel. I JUST got better!!! However halfway through our 2 week trip to Europe my symptoms came back which only interrupted a day of our travel when I went to a Rome hospital. We were able to get the meds I needed to finish our cruise to Greece and as soon as we returned to Hawaii, we got new test results that required me to have surgery and then the discovery that I had cancer.
Now, I could get upset and say, “why didn’t they find it in June”. If they had, I would have missed out on the MOST AMAZING FAMILY TRIP EVER. They found it however as soon as we got back and now with our grandbaby on the way I have a new reason to fight harder for this miracle healing.
For now I can rest knowing that God is in control I trust His plan and not my own. Jeremiah 29:11-12 says, “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you”.
My first chemo treatment was on Tuesday, it went well and 4 days after that treatment I am feeling better than I did before. I’m still tired but I’m not coughing and my breathing is better!!! This is thanks to the prednisone…. and lots and lots of PRAYERS from so many people all over the globe. .
This week, I received a beautiful hand made knit prayer shawl from my friend Martha with a card signed by a whole bunch of people at her church in Tennessee who prayed over it. That blanket is covering me now as I write to you. I feel completely covered and surrounded by so much love.
And now you know another reason you can pray for me, that my prayer to be there for this little baby will be answered. Thank you for your continued love, support and prayers. I am feeling extremely blessed because of you.
Trusting in God’s perfect timing,
PS.. Derek wants to be called Papa, but what should I be called? Any suggestions?