Well, I finally met with my doctor on Monday and I got the report I had been waiting for. When she sat with me she smiled and said, "Well... I have good news and bad news". Hmmm, not exactly what I was hoping to hear but I sat and listened to her explain my situation. The good news was the cancer was non invasive and the margins were clear. The bad news is the cancer was six times larger than anticipated and the margins were only clear by 1 millimeter. This meant I needed to go back to have additional surgery to create a 2 millimeter margin which is the standard protocol for prevention. I have to admit I just sat there stunned because surgery was scheduled immediately for the next morning and all I could focus on is the fact that I had been just one millimeter away from not having to have more surgery. That's the same size of the tip of a pencil, not the eraser but the lead!!! It took me awhile to process this.
My first reaction was discouragement. I thought, "Will this mean I will have to cancel the Stampin' Up! incentive trip I'm scheduled to go on next month?" "I bet I am going to feel awful after the surgery, after all, I'm not fully healed and now I'm going to start over!!!" These were the discouraging thoughts I allowed to consume my mind. Grumbling instead of gratitude is what I allowed to happen. I realize now sometimes that is what I do, I focus on the negative instead of the positive. I didn't realize at that moment there was a whole LOT of positive to celebrate and be grateful for.
One of the lessons I believe God is teaching me is to always remember that He is with me, that He is in control. If I focus on His presence surrounding me, then no matter what, I will be at peace. In this situation, I choose to focus on the negative, more surgery! I totally missed the opportunity to immediately praise God for answering prayers that he so clearly had. I'm glad I see that now because truly I have a lot to be thankful for.
First, the cancer was non invasive. That is something that could have been a major fear if I had focused on the possibility of it being invasive. Honestly, I didn't even think about that. Praise God for his grace to not even let that possibility enter my mind. I realize now that I am one of the fortunate 20% of people who caught it early enough before it spread. The second answered prayer is that the margins were clear, that is what we prayed for so our prayers were answered. I am also thankful to have a Dr. who wanted to follow the protocol to give me the best chance of it not reoccuring.
One of the things I am realizing about myself is that I allow discouragement, worry and fear cloud my judgement sometimes, okay maybe often! In my devotions today, I was reminded that everyday God's presence is with me. Worrying is one of the things that can block my awareness that He is there, it is a form of unbelief. If God is truly in control of my life then I have no reason to worry or fear. Instead my reaction to challenges should be an awareness of new opportunities to trust Him more.
Tuesday morning at 7:15am I had a second surgery at the Queens Same Day Surgery center. I received such excellent care there. Surgery went well and now I am recuperating at home waiting till I feel good enough to stamp again. This is especially challenging because my box of new catalog product arrived Monday night so now I can just look in the box and dream of all the projects I can do when I feel well enough to get back to work!
Prior to going into surgery I did get some stamping done. In fact today I'll share a card I made that was inspired by one of the beautiful flower arraignments that I received last week. This particular arraignment was from my friends Tom and Mary.
Here is the Daisy bouquet they sent me:
Since this arraignment had Daisy's in it I chose products from our new Daisy Delight Suite. What colors do you see? I see Melon Mambo, Elegant Eggplant, Perfect Plum, Garden Green, Whisper White and our new Lemon Lime Twist. I choose colors from this palette to create this card for Tom and Mary.
This is not the type of card I usually make as I prefer one or two ink pad colors on my cards, especially when I am hosting classes. However, I challenged myself to try and use as many of the stamps and colors I could to match the beautiful colors of this thoughtful gift. I am really glad how it turned out and hope Mary and Tom will like it too. I call this one of my Inspired Creations, where I basically look at something such as fabric, a photograph, or in this case, a flower arraignment, to use as my inspiration.
Making Thank You Cards has been on my mind because I have felt so incredibly blessed over these past couple of weeks by all the kind things others have done for me. So I decided to use this same set and create a simple elegant monochromatic card that would be easy for me to reproduce.
Here is the card I came up with.
This card not only features a the new stamp set Daisy Delight, but it also shows the coordinating Daisy punch, the new Oh My Stars embossing folder and the dazzling Clear Faceted Gems. This card could be made using only one in pad in a variety of colors.
It is so fun working with all these new products. I can't wait till I feel strong enough to get into my new box of goodies and stamp some more.
As I end today's post it is with a heart filled with gratitude for a good Dr.s report. For a successful second surgery and for the fact that surgery was yesterday and I am feeling well enough to sit up and write this post. I feel so thankful that this experience is helping me to see areas in my life that need to change. I need to focus on the positives and not the negatives. I need to remember that God's presence is with me everyday and I shouldn't allow worry to block me from realizing that. I need to focus on the fact that I have no reason to be anxious because God is in control I need to remember to rejoice because God has been so good to me. I am so grateful for this opportunity to learn to change my attitude and focus on all the good around me. I feel so loved by so many of you who have continued to reach out to me in so many ways. I feel your prayers and love and I can truly say is I feel so incredibly blessed.
I know that there are those out there who are going through challenges. Today my prayers are with my friend Charlene whose husband is having a triple bi-pass surgery. I ask that you would lift up Jon in your prayers today to ask for surgery to go well and for his complete healing. I also ask that you would pray for Charlene that she would not be anxious but would feel God's loving presence with her and know the peace which passes all understanding.
If that is you today and you worried, anxious or need encouragement I will end this post with a couple of verses from the Bible that I read this morning in my quiet time. As you read them I hope they will encourage you and help you to let go of whatever you are worrying about today as they have certainly helped me today..
Matthew 6:25-27 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
Psalm 55:22 "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken."
With love, gratitude and many blessings,